I am very tired, but I thought I'd make a quick post before heading to bed for a few zzzzzzz's (I've worked the past 3 nights). For some reason over the past 2 days I've become more and more at peace with the idea of NOT being on any sort of blood thinner if we get pregnant again...and to be honest I'm not sure I want to be on them. I dont' know what has changed...but for some reason the fears I had a few days ago are no longer there...the facts I was freaking out about are still there in my head...but they don't scare me like they did. I'm even thinking about cancelling the hematologist appointment I (secretly) made for next month. All of a sudden I'm okay with our plan of being on baby aspirin and extra folic acid and eating healthy and exercise and the metformin. Why do more if we don't have to?
What is wrong with me, why am I so wishy-washy? Ugh. I know part of the reason why my thought process has changed. Two nights ago at work I took care of a patient with the same diagnosis I have (hetero MTHFR), but she also had another clotting disorder (Factor V Leiden for those who know what I'm talking about...) that increases her risks even more than mine...but she was only on baby aspirin. Not even extra folic acid. And she had a healthy baby. Granted she had had 3 miscarriages, but she now has 3 healthy kids too.
I don't know. It was somehow inspiring and encouraging to take care of her...and at this exact moment in time...to see someone with my diagnosis have a healthy baby on only baby aspirin...I think it may have been God's way of telling me to chill out and trust Him. L0l!
...
Okay, sorry if that was a complete mess of rambling...it makes sense to me...at the moment anyway (going on 20 hours with no sleep...*shrugs* I've done worse...).
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
EDIT:
So after 4 hours of sleep, it came to me..."peace that surpasses all understanding"...that totally explains how I feel right now. I googled to find what verse it was I was thinking of...here it is:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard yor hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
Friday, September 18, 2009
Peace
Posted by An RN is Born at 11:45 AM
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3 comments:
A word of courage: "Be strong and of good courage: be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest" (Josh. 1:9) UN
God always knows how to encourage our hearts when we need it most, you guys are in my prayers Abigail!
Praise the Lord for you being more at peace! I know the wishy-washy feeling and I go back and worth as well. It's so hard because you don't want to inject yourself with shots if it's not necessary but you also would do anything to prevent the loss of another baby. It's amazing what us mommas will do for our babies and we don't even have any on the outside yet!
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