6 Weeks Tomorrow

I think I'm still in denial. We've known for 17 days now, but it still hasn't sunk in. Maybe I'm just not letting it? I am so very thankful for this 3rd opportunity that God has given us. All the circumstances have worked out perfectly. And so far I have not been the worried basket case I was last time. Someone told me that was a "good sign". I like to think it's because I've been constantly repeating "Do not be anxious about anythign but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

It all started in December when I decided to claim the verse from John 14:13. And when Scott and I decided to take a break from the fertility drugs. But we got pregnant anyway. I "blame" God. Hehe. :-) So I'm still using John 14:13...daily I ask for peace and strength and for my worries to be taken away. And so far I haven't been too worried. Yes, I've had my moments, but not like last time. Maybe it is a good sign. But I think it's God.

I don't know if we'll hold this baby in our arms in September, but I'm choosing to believe we will. I can't live the next 8 months in fear, in suspense. Whatever is meant to happen will happen, God is in control of everything, and I (we) need to just trust Him. We're doing everything we can possibly do to make this work...all that's left is faith. This does not mean it will be any easier if we end up losing this child. Not at all. But we can't think that way, and until given reason to believe otherwise, I'm choosing to believe that this child is perfectly healthy, that my body is doing exactly what it needs to do to protect this child and that we WILL deliver THIS baby alive and healthy in September.

Little one...or as Daddy likes to call you, our Little Monkey...we love you so very much! We've been thinking and dreaming of you for a long time, and knowing that you are finally here with us is an incredible, indescribable feeling! We have yet to see you for the first time...we pray we get that opportunity 1 week from today on ultrasound...but we know you're in there, and we pray you grow strong and healthy. Tomorrow you will be 6 weeks old. Your little heart should start beating sometime this week. Please stay strong for Mommy and Daddy. Hang in there, and bless us with your presence in September! You are a blessing already, and we love you so much!!

~Mommy~