Little One

Hi there Monkey! You and I went to a Rebecca St James concert tonight with your grandma and grandpa. It was a great concert, except for the part where I lost it and couldn't help but cry. It's all becuase she sang this song:

LITTLE ONE

Hush my baby be still inside me
Rest my child all is well
Hush my baby grow inside me
You are safe there my little girl

I can’t believe that I would ever think
That you were not to be
But darling mommy feels like a child herself

I will give my life to love you little one
I will give my life to protect you darling
Always, always

Hush my baby I’m dreaming of you
Wondering just who you’ll become
Hush my baby, smile inside me
Warmed by knowing you are loved

I can’t believe that I could ever think
Of life without you
But darling mommy sometimes feels afraid

I will give my life to love you little one
I will give my life to protect you darling
Always, always

I will give my life to love you little one
I will give my life to protect you darling
Always, always

Hush my baby, smile inside me
Warmed by knowing you are loved



Oh man did that song have all the right words...or all the wrong words, I couldn't and still can't decide. I wish I could know if "all is well" and if you're "safe there" growing inside me. Your two siblings obviously weren't. And I would love to be able to protect you, I am doing all I can. Please hang on and come to greet us in September? "Mommy sometimes feels afraid", but Daddy and I are choosing to trust that God is protecting you in there...that you're growing right on schedule. We can't wait to "see" you at our ultrasound in just a few days. Is your little heart beating yet? How big are you? You're supposed to be the size of a pea this week. My little Sweetpea.

That song touched a nerve because it was written and sung for a movie about an unplanned pregnancy and the struggles the woman went through deciding whether or not to have an abortion or to choose life for her baby. She was six weeks pregnant, I am six weeks pregnant with you today. It stung because I wish I had a choice. I choose life!! You are SO wanted! Your two siblings were also very much planned for and wanted, but we didn't get to keep them. We didn't have a choice, they were taken away from us against our will. I choose life, I choose life...if only it were as simple as making that choice. If only my body will cooperate with my mind. God please...you've given this child life, please don't take it away? We love you so much Little Monkey!!

We had a minor set-back today. Our insurance company is refusing to continue covering the Lovenox I've been taking to help you. I'll be switching to Heparin instead. Please keep growing, baby?

Love,
Mommy

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20