Pluggin' along...

Today marks 14weeks and 5days. I can't believe it! I had another Dr's appt yesterday, and everything looks perfect. I'm up ~5 lbs total, and have a cute little baby bump. :-) I don't know if anyone besides me and Scott can tell at this point, but it's definitely baby now and not bloat...my Dr said my uterus is about half way up to my belly button. Twenty-seven days until we find out if Monkey is a boy or girl!!! The heartrate is still pretty high, yesterday was 167bpm on the office doppler, and it's never been below 160 on my home doppler or on any of my 5 ultrasounds exluding the first one (see previous posts). So I'm still thinking girl because of that, but I really don't have any sort of "mother's intuition"...and the heartrate thing is just an old wives tale (boy = hr <140, girl = hr>140), so we'll just have to see what happens on April 22nd!! I sure hope Monkey cooperates that day and gives us the money shot!!

Here's a picture from 14w3d.

HA! I just realized there is a toothpaste stripe on the mirror, LOL! Oh well.

Oh, and I got the best news at my appt yesterday: my Dr. isn't going to make me stop the heparin at 20wks as previously discussed!! The fertility specialist I saw up until 8 weeks wanted me to stop at ~16 weeks, because as I've mentioned before he put me on it for my history of miscarriage NOT because of the MTHFR mutations I have--which is the reason I wanted to be on the heparin. My OB refilled my Rx enough to get me to 22 weeks, but said we'd talk about it "later" whether or not to continue past that point. Well, yesterday she said if I insisted on continuing she would let me (barring any unforseen medical problems), even though she does not think it is medically necessary. I love her!!!! It's not that I don't trust her, I don't trust my body. Which may sound terrible, but it has failed me before and I want to do *everything* within my power this time to ensure that this baby has the best chance of making into our arms alive and healthy. Which brings me to another thought...

My mother in law posted a quote on Facebook the other day along the lines of "Worry is our way of insulting God". Ouch, so true. I can totally understand that. But isn't it human to worry? I know that no matter how hard I try not to, I still worry about things. I think there is a fine line though between trust and action. We can't just sit back and say "Oh God will take care of everything" and not do anything about whatever it is we're praying for/worried about. For example, we know I have a couple of medical issues that can and have caused problems with having children. Are we supposed to sit back and say "If God wants us to have a child, he'll fix me." Perhaps some extremists would take this stance. But I don't think I could do that...especially with medical science available to help. I believe we need to do everything we can, and trust God to help us make the right decisions along the way. Besides, it ultimately doesn't matter what we do, if this baby is not supposed to live it won't. Still, I do need to constantly watch myself to be sure I'm not letting worry overtake me. Because it IS insulting to God, I'm sure. The more I think my faith and trust are growing, the more I realized my faith is still soooo small. If faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain, mine must be the size of a molecule...or worse, a single atom!! *Sigh*

I'm so glad my Dr understands me. I still haven't told my co-workers I'm pregnant yet (except for a very few who have known since that first week we found out), and I honestly don't know what I'm waiting for...but my Dr totally "gets it". It's because of my history. I also think it's because IF something were to happen to this baby (here I go again...UGH I hate this thinking!!), going back to work would just absolutely kill me. I know I would need some time off, and even then it would be pure torture to go back to working with moms and healthy newborns 36 hours a week. After the first and second miscarriages it was hard...and both were by 8 weeks. I'm now almost 15 weeks...I cannot imagine losing this baby now. I think by not telling my coworkers I somehow think I'm protecting myself in that area should something go wrong. I'm not going to be able to keep it a secret much longer though...and I really don't want to...it's just harder than I thought to let it out at work...and I get asked about once a week (not because it's obvious yet, but because several of them knew we were trying). Most of our family and close friends know now...well...hang on...my Dad's side of the family doesn't know yet, but I was waiting for the twice-annual family get together on April 11th to tell them. I think showing up with a cute little 17 week baby bump should do the trick. :-D I hope no one will be offended by us waiting that long, but I honestly think that will be the most fun way to tell them!! I can't wait!

Hmmm, what else. Haven't felt any movement yet, but it's still quite early for that and will probably be a few more weeks before I feel anything...and even longer before anyone will be able to feel the baby move on the outside.

Prayer request for this week, if anyone is reading this...I stopped taking my progesterone cream this past Monday (as directed), so I've been rather nervous about that. The placenta is supposed to take over production of progesterone between 10 and 12 weeks, but my Dr kept me on it a little longer just to make sure. I also take an oral progesterone supplement once a day, which I haven't stopped yet...I was scared to stop them both at the same time. So I will be stopping that probably this coming Sunday or Monday. Then the following week I'll be stopping the Metformin (which I was taking for PCOS...see posts from last year). So I'm nervous about all of this. Please pray the placenta will function as it's supposed to and that my body will take over as these medications are discontinued. The upside: three less pills to swallow every day!!

I think that is all for now!

~Abigail...and Monkey too!~