So many things to say!!

I don't know where to start!! Baby, I can't believe you're over 12 weeks old today! Daddy and I have recently been listening to your heartbeat almost every night before bed, and it's the most amazing sound in the world! I also let your Grandma Lundy hear you awhile back and she loved that! She's coming with me to the next ultrasound tomorrow. I can't wait to see you again!! I want to see your little arms and legs kicking around and see your little heart beating again. It's kinda sad though because this will be the last time I get to see you for several more weeks...until either the end of April or beginning of May. I've loved seeing you every week or two up until this point!! I'm so thankful we have the doppler so I can "peek in" on you whenever I want. I love you little one!!

So after tomorrow's ultrasound we're going to start telling more people about you. I'm kind of scared. We've always said we'd wait until 12 weeks. Well, now that we're 12 weeks I'm not sure what to do with myself!! It feels "safer" to keep you as our little secret. And yet I'm bursting to share our excitement with people! I think I'm just always going to be nervous. You're in the best Hands possible, and I trust you're going to be just fine. I don't know why I'm nervous. Maybe I do...it's because we love you SO so much and unfortunately we know what it's like have that torn away from us.

Speaking of which...your brother or sister was due last week. I was struggling with whether to be sad that we lost him or her, or to be happy and thankful we have you. Honestly, I'm both. I would love to be holding our precious little March baby in our arms right now and my heart aches that we are not. But if that baby had lived, we wouldn't have you. God must have a really special plan in mind for you, little one.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

One of the nurses I work with reminded me last week that God should be glorified for the continued success of this pregnancy, not the multiple medications I'm on, not the heparin. She is one of the 3 people I've told at work. And she's totally right. It's something I've thought of before, but hadn't put into words. I know God is in control, I know He's the one responsible for the lack of complications thus far, and I pray that continues. Yes the medications may be helping, yes the heparin could be just what I needed. But God doesn't need the medications to fulfill His plans. He should still receive all the glory!!

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20

I'm excited to start telling people. We'll slowly tell the rest of our family and then all our close friends over the next couple weeks. Then after my next appt on March 25th I'll post your ultrasound pictures on Facebook. I can't wait to show off your progress, Monkey!! It's actually good we're going to start telling, because I don't know how much longer we'd be able to keep you a secret. Right now it looks like I've just eaten a few too many Girl Scout cookies...but that little bump is looking more and more real every day. I know it's mostly just Daddy and me who can tell the difference right now. But soon it will be more obvious! And I can't wait! I've gained a couple pounds. I never was very sick with you...you mostly just gave me food aversions...and made me throw up once (you must not have appreciated me eating those DOTS for breakfast a few weeks ago...). Even though it's just a couple pounds, it looks like more to me, lol! But my jeans still fit just fine. That hasn't stopped me from buying a few maternity clothes though. It's just so much fun!

Okay, I should probably stop now. Daddy is waiting for dinner and you're starting to make me hungry too! :-) I'll see you tomorrow, Baby!

Love always,
Mommy