I'm a mess

Baby, your Mama is a mess! I'm falling to pieces even at the thought that we could lose you. I called your grandma last night and told her all about the ultrasound. She said the safest place for you was in God's hands, and that's where we should leave you. I know she's right but it's soo hard! He didn't save our other two babies, why should we keep trusting Him with you? I know we need to and we're trying, but we're only human and I can't help but cry for you.

I hope you're listening to me. I've told you so many times how much we love you and told you to stay with us and to keep growing.

I want a fastforward button to September, to the moment we get to hold you in our arms, alive and healthy. But yet I want to be able to enjoy every single moment that I'm pregnant. Why can't they all be happy, worry-free moments? Because I love you too much. Not that it's possible to love someone TOO much...I just love you too much not to care, not to worry. I am worried. I can't lose you. I just can't.

Love Always,
~Your Mommy~